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Things We Have Learned--GREAT PLAINS EDITION

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We're currently at the GEOGRAPHIC CENTER OF NORTH AMERICA and we're stalling because apparently there's some sort of BIG TRUCKS DRIVING THROUGH MUD event celebrating the third of July or whatever and we want to go to it. Also, it's hella windy, in the wrongest of ways.

Pretty much what we look like while camping

THINGS WE HAVE LEARNED:

  • After passing two hawk corpses, pretty much everyone vows to stop and take feathers/beaks/talons next time
  • Groundhogs are pretty much terrible at crossing the highway
  • The guy that laid down the rumble strips on Highway 2 in Montana was pretty much drunk the entire time
  • North Dakota's liquor laws are designed to both confuse and infuriate
  • Salted Nut Rolls: A big deal in the north
  • The wind in North Dakota blows approx. three directions at once, all somehow in your face
  • People are more weirded out by the fact that we haven't stayed in a hotel than that we are bicycling across country
  • You can get called "faggot" in pretty much any state (except Oregon, apparently)
  • Some of the best scenery east of the rockies is provided by remarkably stupid bumper stickers
  • There is a very fine line between "touring cyclist" and "homeless dude"--after talking to a guy in Chester, MT for a full ten minutes I still couldn't tell if he was on tour or just without a domicile
  • Chicken fried steak--don't order it anywhere but the South
  • SPAM: Better than you remember (tm)
  • The mosquitos in Western North Dakota are some serious prehistoric shit but apparently nobody really cares that they are losing about a pint a day to them?
  • Small-town bike shop owners get sort of huffy when you ask for things they don't have, like tires
  • When a motorist says it's flat, they really mean there's 40 miles of hill climbing between you and your destination

It's almost time for the MUD RUN, so I'll have to let y'all go, but I'd like to say hello to the ladie golfers of Havre, MT--sorry we couldn't stick around and auction ourselves off as caddies for your charity tournament (we don't know anything about golf anyway).